Ranking Every Black Keys Album Ever

In 2010, I had just begun my Rolling Stone subscription as I attempted to inculcate myself with sub-mainstream pop culture and music knowledge. The hipster train was just starting to leave the station, and I, while decidedly NOT one of them, still found their tastes in culture to be suited to my own. Rolling Stone was a good magazine for me, because while it is decidedly at the fore-front of pop culture in America, it constantly gives a nod to the toiling indie generation of music, without casting shame on the bands that make it big, like Pitchfork does. One of the first articles I read was on the Ohio-band The Black Keys, who had just released their album Brothers and, as the magazine fortune-told, were on the brink of becoming an A-List, arena-filling act. I, as an eager teen looking for an edge in pop-culture conversations, watched the video for "Tighten Up" on YouTube and decided they were my new favorite band. This occurred approximately two weeks before "Tighten Up" could be heard on your local radio station every hour. Thus, I officially "was a Black Keys fan before everybody else", and I had accomplished my first mission of liking a band "before they became popular". My pretentiousness about them, and the rest of pop culture pretty much, has died down gradually since I've entered college, but The Black Keys remain my default answer for my favorite band of my generation. I've listened to every one of their songs countless times, and their live show at Merriweather last May was the finest concert I've ever been to.

With that introduction, here's my rankings of each of their albums. It's in order from least-favorite to favorite, not worst to best. Because The Black Keys have never made an album that could be considered "worst" - so this is only my personal preference of each of them in relation to one another.

7. thickfreakness (2003)

Thickfreakness is one of the band's bluesiest albums. And I do love it - some of the riffs on this album are my favorites that they've done. "Thickfreakness" and "Set You Free" are two fantastic songs, but like other albums in the band's repertoire, the album is pretty front-loaded.  I absolutely love the first three songs on the album, while the rest of it dips down a level. It also lacks the power of their debut. That said, while it lacks the excitement that others deliver, this album is one I could listen to over and over again without complaint.

6. The Big Come Up (2002)

The debut of The Black Keys, The Big Come Up is thirteen songs of raw, unrefined energy. It's straight-up blues produced in a basement, giving the album - and the band - its trademark garage sound. While the explosive, pure energy is fantastic, it also lacks the experience of their follow-up albums, but is still a great listen from start to finish. The songs are a bit shorter on this album than most of the other albums as well, and I'm personally a greater fan of their ability to stretch songs to four and five minutes. But if The Big Come Up was a stock, I would have invested it due to the clear potential of the band evident in 2002.

5. Attack & Release (2008)

Attack & Release is the clear turning-point of the band's transition into the mainstream. This was the first instance of their collaboration with producer Danger Mouse, and the result is a much smoother sound with some of the catchiest riffs the band has done. "I Got Mine" is one of their best songs, and watching them stretch it to eight minutes live was an amazing thing to see. "Strange Times" is another great track. The album lacks flow from start to finish and the best songs occur at the beginning, but Attack & Release shows the flashes of mainstream music that catapulted the band to stardom on their next albums.

4. Brothers (2010)

The album that launched The Black Keys into the mainstream, Brothers is one of the best albums of the decade so far and proof that great rock music can still be popular. The band ditched Danger Mouse for the lyric-heavy, darker album about love and friendship, with the exception of "Tighten Up". It's a great listen, though my only real problem with it is its length of 16 songs, some of which on the b-side aren't as fantastic as "Tighten Up", "Next Girl", and "Howlin' for You". "Black Mud" is a brilliant instrumental song as well.

3. Magic Potion (2006)

So I was actually going to rank Magic Potion at the bottom of the list. But then I listened to it again today. The major-label debut of the band, Magic Potion delivers some of the most underrated music the band has ever made. "Your Touch" and "Goodbye Babylon" are two of my favorite songs, and the rest of the album provides the steady blues that makes The Black Keys great. The album loses its way in the middle I think, but once "Goodbye Babylon" comes on, the album finishes extremely powerfully.

2. El Camino (2011)

If Brothers is the album that got people to notice The Black Keys, El Camino is the album that made people stay. It's their acknowledgement of being in the mainstream and their roaring success to appeal to the masses. It's much less outwardly bluesy and highly produced (Danger Mouse came back for this one), but the band keeps to their roots and delivers a tour-de-force of an album from start to finish. "Little Black Submarines" is a hell of a song, and was maybe the best performance of a song I've ever seen live.

1. Rubber Factory (2004)

Rubber Factory isn't as built for the masses as El Camino. It's back before the band made it big, when they recorded in an old, abandoned tire factory. But the album is a true masterpiece from start to finish. What Rubber Factory lacks in high fidelity sound, they make up with catchy riffs and strong, bluesy lyrics. It's definitely the most listenable of the band's independent era, and lord knows what it would have sounded like if recorded in a professional studio. But the actual rubber factory gives the album its soul - its sound is authentic and real. It may not be for everybody, but Rubber Factory is pure dynamite and one of my favorite albums of all time.

My Final Oscar Predictions Post and why Award Shows Don't Matter

I realize it has been quite a long time since my last blog post. When I sat down the first time to start writing it, my goal was to document the awards season in movies and offer my opinions on the biggest films of the year. While I went to see multiple highly-touted movies this past year, I haven't really gotten around to watching the award shows that I always do. I just haven't been into it like I usually am. This is probably because Kathryn Bigelow's exclusion from the Best Director race for external political reasons is the straw that broke the camel's back, after many, many shocking exclusions and "victories" in these award ceremonies for movies that didn't deserve them.

I mean, let's look back in recent memory. The Artist won last year. I still haven't seen that movie. It's black and white and silent - pretty much a parallel of the excitement about film in 2011.

But then, there's the droll and boring King's Speech winning over The Social Network, a movie I didn't really enjoy, but was still the most relevant and hard-hitting film of 2010. And Bigelow's own Hurt Locker winning over Inglourious Basterds (not really in the conversation as other years, but still the wrong decision nonetheless) in '09 and Crash over Brokeback Mountain in '06 when post-9/11 social conservatism wouldn't let a better movie win because there were two men kissing in it. The list goes on and on.

And you know what? It doesn't matter at all. Everybody else has known this for a long time. I just haven't come to terms with it yet. Just because some producer gets handed a golden statue at the end of a boring, three hour celebration of the A-List doesn't make his movie the best of the year. It's just the opinion of a bunch of old white men. And as for my now former policy of watching every Best Picture nominee, I'm done with that too. I'm glad I didn't waste the hours it would have taken to get through Life of Pi, Amour, and Beasts of the Southern Wild, because I guarantee I would have hated all three of them.

With that, here is my final set of predictions for the Oscars (Only doing major categories this time):

Best Supporting Actress Nominees:
Amy Adams - The Master
Anne Hathaway - Les Miserables
Helen Hunt - The Sessions
Sally Field - Lincoln
Jacki Weaver - Silver Linings Playbook

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Frances McDormand (Moonrise Kingdom)
Who Should Win: Amy Adams
Who Will Win: Anne Hathaway

Amy Adams is unfortunately guilty of appearing in a movie that happened to come out a few months before Hathaway's Les Mis. It sucks, because she gave the best performance in a career littered with unbelievable supporting roles. Her Machiavellian, Lady MacBeth-like Peggy Dodd in The Master was one of the truly underrated characters in cinema of the year. Adams has always had a great presence on screen, and stood up to the overpowering Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman with a wicked ease. As for Anne Hathaway, she was pretty fantastic, but come on, I can rub some dirt on my face, cry for fifteen minutes of screen-time, and sing a song too. I don't think Hathaway did anything any other actress on her level couldn't do. And Amy Adams separated herself from every other actress in her generation in The Master.

Best Supporting Actor Nominees:
Alan Arkin - Argo
Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Master
Robert De Niro - Silver Linings Playbook
Tommy Lee Jones - Lincoln
Christoph Waltz - Django Unchained

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Leonardo DiCaprio, for Christ's Sake
Who Should Win: Hoffman
Who Will Win: Christoph Waltz

This is probably the most up-for-grabs category in the whole she-bang. Each of the nominees is a former winner, also an interesting point. I'd like to see Hoffman win for similar reasons as Amy Adams - his undaunting, truly scary presence on screen was completely unmatched by the other actors in this list. But for God's sake, I don't know who Leo scorned in his past life, but the man gets no gratitude from the Academy. He was brilliant, as he has been in his storied career. His exclusion, after playing one of Tarantino's finest characters ever, is a travesty.

Best Director Nominees:
Michael Haneke - Amour
Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild
Steven Spielberg - Lincoln
David O. Russell - Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee - Life of Pi

I don't want to talk about it. If Kathryn Bigelow doesn't just go up on stage and take the award, the terrorists win. Spielberg's name will be in the envelope, though.

Best Actress Nominees:
Emmanuelle Riva - Amour
Jennifer Lawrence - Silver Linings Playbook
Jessica Chastain - Zero Dark Thirty
Naomi Watts - The Impossible
Quvenzhane Wallis - Beasts of The Southern Wild

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Kara Hayward (Moonrise Kingdom)
Who Should Win: Jessica Chastain
Who Will Win: Jennifer Lawrence

Ok, so I've only seen two of these movies. But the two I've seen are the important ones, and the award is either going to Chastain or Lawrence anyway. I'm going with Jennifer for the win, because she's got the momentum from the other awards and is riding the hot hand. People really, really like her because she pretends to be a lovable loser. She's relatable. It makes sense. Her Tiffany was also really, really well-acted. There's a lot of substance in her role and her performance was one of the best of the year. But she got to play off of a fantastic Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, and Jacki Weaver. The whole movie didn't revolve around her ability to be great at acting. It's just different for Chastain. The film depends on her ability to be as captivating and intense as she is. If she cracks even a little bit, the whole movie collapses. The final shot of Zero Dark Thirty, that's just the stuff of legend. I'll never be able to forget it, even if it is just a movie.

Best Actor Nominees:
Bradley Cooper - Silver Linings Playbook
Daniel Day-Lewis - Lincoln
Denzel Washington - Flight
Hugh Jackman - Les Miserables
Joaquin Phoenix - The Master

Who Should Have Been Nominated: Jared Gilman (Moonrise Kingdom), Logan Lerman (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
Who I'm Glad Wasn't Nominated: Jamie Foxx (Django Unchained)
Who Should Win: Joaquin Phoenix
Who Will Win: Daniel Day-Lewis

I know my 'should' category is getting a little bit predictable here. But you have to see The Master to get it I think. The three main actors were really something else. But Phoenix, like Adams and Hoffman, has no chance. Day-Lewis will win, and I guess he was alright. I just really didn't like Lincoln and the man nearly put me to sleep. Just let me know when he decides to make another movie in four years.

Best Picture Nominees:
Amour
Argo
Beasts of The Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Who Should Have Been Nominated: The Master, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Moonrise Kingdom, maybe even Skyfall
Who Should Win: Zero Dark Thirty
Who Will Win: Argo

Argo, at the beginning of awards season, was a non-factor. And then it won the Golden Globe. And the BAFTA. And everything else. And now it's the heavy favorite for Best Picture. And it was ok. Not a bad movie by any means, entertaining certainly, and filled up an hour and a half on an otherwise quiet Friday night. But this is the kind of Best Picture that will fall slowly into obscurity. It's an Ordinary People, a Dances With Wolves, a How Green Was My Valley. Zero Dark Thirty is Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Citizen Kane. It will live on, because the Oscars don't matter. What's in the hearts and minds of cinema-lovers for generations carry movies on, not a golden statue. And I've come to terms with that.