Friday, August 28, 2015

But First Fridays: Your Weekly Big Brother Power Rankings - Week 10

SPOILER ALERT: As has been the case for the last few weeks, this week’s HOH competition/juror buyback ran past the live show, so keep away if you want to wait until Sunday’s episode to find out the outcome.

Last Week’s HOH: Austin (gag)

Last Week’s Original Nominees: Steve and our boy Johnny

Veto Winner: Vanessa

Did she use the veto?: No, after giving a spectacularly petty speech meant to embarrass Steve

Votes for Eviction: 5-0 to evict John

New Head of Household: Vanessa.  God help us all.

Any new twists?: John won the buyback competition, meaning that he was able to reenter the house after being evicted for about twenty minutes.  And next week is another double eviction, so this could potentially be an incredibly interesting week or a painfully boring one.



OUR THOUGHTS:

JAIME: Oh, what a week.  Well, just like I predicted last week, Austin and Liz spending all their time in the HOH room meant we once again had to see some gross things on the feeds.  So, needless to say, I didn’t watch the feeds all that much this week.

GARRETT: Nor did I. The fact that those two think they’re loved by America would be mindboggling if it wasn’t so painfully obvious how pompous and conceited they are.

JAIME: Austin started off his week in a pretty terrible position.  He had made deals with just about everyone in the house, and now that the pool of potential nominees is so much smaller, he had no idea who to put up.  He was set on John, the only person he hadn’t made any kind of deal with, but he’d promised James and Meg that neither of them would go up, which meant his options were Steve or Vanessa.  Lots of back and forth ensued, lots of Austin feeling bad for himself for being in this position, lots of me not caring.  Ultimately, while he was fine with either John or Vanessa going home, he knew that Vanessa staying in the house would be better for his game - but he’d already promised Steve that he wouldn’t go up.  But once again Vanessa managed to sway Austin, and he wound up putting Steve and John on the block.

After an appearance by Zingbot (where Liz was zinged because Austin has a girlfriend, and Austin was just called smelly, because, you know, that’s fair), it was time for the veto competition, where one-by-one, players were shown a picture with three houseguests’ features mixed up, and the player had to correctly identify who was shown.  The fastest time won the veto.  Julia, in her first veto competition, was the time to beat for most of the game, until Vanessa came in and finished in two fewer minutes than Julia.  

With Vanessa winning the veto, Johnny decided to tell her about the five-person alliance they’d formed last week, in the hopes that it would help make Vanessa loyal to him and turn on Austwins, and eventually use the veto on him.  And it kind of almost worked: Vanessa confirmed the existence of the alliance with Liz, who wrote it off as just an idea of Steve’s that she, Austin, and Julia went along with.  With the blame for the alliance all on Steve, Vanessa flipped out, and had a few very mature conversations with him where she calmly listened to his explanation and ultimately understood that it was something he did to improve his standing in the house.  No, I’m totally messing with you, that didn’t happen at all.  It’s Vanessa, come on.  She cried and screamed at Steve and mocked him.

Despite her anger at Steve, and despite her incredibly petty and immature veto speech in which she yelled at Steve for hurting her feelings (by, you know, playing the game), Vanessa decided not to use the veto.  

GARRETT: The TV editing made it seem like Vanessa was either going to use the veto on John or flip on the Austwins and evict Steve, but, as with everybody else left in this game, she refused to vote against Liz and Julia.

JAIME: And on Thursday night, John was evicted by a unanimous vote - until, of course, the buyback competition, which brought Shelli, Jackie, and Becky back to compete alongside John for the right to reenter the house.  The competition, which was combined with the HOH competition, had all the players holding onto a rope that swung around in a circle, occasionally hitting obstacles along the way that would quickly spin them.  The last juror remaining would win the buyback, and potentially could win the HOH as well.

This was an incredibly quick competition, and by that I mean in the time it took me to come upstairs the moment the episode finished airing, open my computer, and turn on the feeds, it was pretty much over.  Apparently Jackie, Shelli, and Becky (possibly along with some of the houseguests) were disqualified for crouching too low on the rope, which seems like a fault on the producers for not explaining it well enough, but what do I know.  Ultimately Vanessa won the HOH, with John coming in second place and winning the buyback comp.

GARRETT: I was so mad during the episode (for those of you that follow me on Twitter, sorry for the outbursts, but such is the life) that I didn’t even watch the feeds for the rest of the night. John is back in, but only after telling Julie Chen that he wants Meg evicted over the twins. I’m more jaded with this show right than I’ve ever been, honestly. I really don’t like anybody.

JAIME: It was a really long week in the house, and unfortunately, I don’t think anyone really made any big moves.  But let’s get to this week’s power rankings:


8. Meg

GARRETT: We should really have a running tally of the poor decisions Meg has made so far. I feel like we detail it every week in these posts, but every go round, she always finds a way to make a decision that, from the outside of the house, looks just so clearly incorrect. This week, it happened on Wednesday night, as John was making his final push to stay in the house and flip the game on the Austwins. There was a prime chance to do it, but Meg, in classic fashion, ran to Austin and tattled on the idea, making him confirm his final five with the twins and James. Now, this week, Vanessa inexplicably is refusing to target the twins, and Meg is in the crosshairs. But I’m not happy, because a Meg nomination means an eviction of whoever is sitting next to her. It may just be James this week, which would add yet another of Meg’s “peeps” to the jury.

JAIME: Oh, Meg.  For some inexplicable reason, Meg thinks she has a lot of control in the house.  She doesn’t seem to realize that there are only eight people left, and when she’s only strong with one other person, that means she could very easily go at any time.  She’s still done absolutely nothing, and oh my god when is anyone going to realize that Austin, Liz, and Julia are three votes who absolutely are not going to turn on each other.  Every week that goes by, the worse Meg looks.  She hasn’t won a single competition, and adds no value to the house whatsoever other than adding a number.  And the worst part is I don’t think she’s going anywhere - John might be targeting her, but that’s it.  Everyone knows they can always beat her in a comp and that she can go whenever they want her to go, so they’re free to keep her as long as they want.  She’s done absolutely nothing to earn her place in the game and I am so, so tired of seeing her joking about how useless she is at comps.

7. John

JAIME: As sad that I was that John was evicted, I don’t know if him winning the buyback comp was the best possible outcome.  I’m glad there’s still someone in the house that I actually care about, but there’s a huge chance that this week will just be a repeat of last week.  I don’t know if I see John surviving the double eviction, and I think that another juror (especially Jackie or Becky) would have had a greater chance of actually shaking things up in the house.  I don’t know.  I’m torn, because Johnny is hands down my favorite houseguest, but game-wise, he’s got to step it up and realize that all the people he’s chosen to work with are absolutely out to get him.

GARRETT: John had chance after chance to play this game, and as funny as he is, it really pissed me off to see him say that he wanted Meg evicted over Austwins. I want to root for him, but part of me knows there’s no chance of him winning the big prize anyway after having been evicted already. I just think bringing back a houseguest that was fairly eliminated from the competition is cheap and tacky, and interrupts the flow of the game. I loved when Kaysar came back into the game way back in Season 6, but looking back on it, just because I loved him doesn’t mean it was right, and I’m glad he got a second comeuppance that same week. So now, rooting for John to win anything other than America’s Favorite Player just feels dirty. As for his game, it looks like he may be aligning with his once-enemy Vanessa, and should be alright for the first eviction. But if power flips back to the twins, he’s a goner. And if it happens, I won’t be that upset.

6. Steve

JAIME: Considering that Vanessa blew up at him last week, I think it’s safe to say that he’s probably going to be her biggest target.  He’s in a slightly better spot than John because I think Vanessa is really the only one with a huge vendetta against him; still, I don’t know how likely it is that he’ll survive the double eviction.  We’ve been saying for weeks that these players need to break up the Austwins block, but if James and Meg still insist on playing nice with them, Steve and John are the first to go.  So hopefully they step it up so I can continue supporting them.

GARRETT: I would probably like Steve, but he lets people get in his head so much that he physically can’t speak when he’s confronted about something (like Vanessa yelling at him in Wednesday’s episode). You can be a huge fan and know exactly what the right move to make is, but when you get so intimidated to the point of hyperventilation, your presence is pointless. Steve lost this game when he evicted Jackie in the first double eviction. He had the big move in front of him and didn’t take it.

5. James

GARRETT: As has been the case throughout the entire game, James is putting his fate in serious jeopardy through his alliance with Meg. Meg refuses to use any logic, and gets James questioning himself whenever it seems like he might be about to make the right decision. This week, both of them tried to volunteer to go up as a pawn. It’s baffling. $500,000 on the line and the man wants to risk himself for eviction. As with John, another truly likable guy, but he’s got a hollow head when it comes to playing big Brother. Unless the course of action is so obvious it’s punching him in the face (like putting Clay and Shelli on the block), you just can’t count on him to actually make a big move - something he incorrectly says he’s capable of.

JAIME: This is why I was hoping Jackie would win the buyback comp.  With Jackie by his side, James had a chance of actually getting some control back, and more importantly, gaining some perspective.  He absolutely does not have the numbers to win this game, or really control anything.  Whatever game moves he makes, even if they’re smart, are absolutely pointless as long as he doesn’t see the dangers of keeping Austwins.

4. Julia

JAIME: Julia is kind of pointless.  She’s sort of the Meg of Austwins: she hasn’t won anything, and she’s not really more than just a number.  But unlike Meg, Julia has strong people behind her, and given her connections to Liz and Austin, she’s not going anywhere.  As long as everyone keeps falling all over themselves to work with Austwins, they’re going to stay in control of the house, and Julia is going to walk right to the final three.  How thrilling.

GARRETT: She also just made a final two with Vanessa (in the event that Liz gets evicted), so that’s another eye roll from me. Julia is a huge disappointment that we should have seen coming. I like her better than Liz, but if you’re in a competition over who’s hated less, nobody is a winner. It means something that we write less on Julia every week than anybody else.

3. Liz

GARRETT: I just really don’t like Liz. I think she’s annoying and petty and a truly mean human being. She sits back and talks more trash than anybody this side of Maggie from Season 6. She takes everything personally while accusing everybody else of taking things personally. She’s rude and has a horrible attitude and only got on the show because her and Julia met Porsche from S13 on a yacht. I usually love to hate people in Big Brother. Austin, I hate, but I love to hate him because he’s so ridiculous and I know that the long wait will be worth it when he’s finally evicted. But Liz just makes me irrationally angry. There’s nothing about her I enjoy and she makes the show worse. I have nothing to say about her gameplay, other than the fact that again, after two months of this, I still don’t understand how people won’t target her.

JAIME: I cannot for the life of me figure out why no one has ever targeted her.  She’s the center of a three-person alliance, and we’re at the point in the game where three votes are the majority in an eviction.  How does nobody see that?  How is no one threatened by that?  Like Julia, she gets to just sit back and watch as she advances further and further in the game.  I could understand if they were actively working to protect their alliance and make themselves be seen as helpful rather than harmful, but seriously?  They’re not doing anything to make themselves seem like less of a threat, and yet nobody is threatened by them.  It’s not even fun anymore to watch these houseguests misread this situation.  It started getting sad a long time ago.  Austwins don’t deserve to win the game, but right now, none of the other houseguests do either if they can’t even acknowledge the largest threat in the game, and won’t lift a finger to do something about the huge obstacle between them and $500,000.  Austwins are going to be the final three and everyone else is going to be evicted and be surprised at how they managed to get fooled so badly, and they won’t have anyone to blame but themselves.

2. Austin

JAIME: First of all, it anyone hasn’t read Austin’s HOH blog, please do yourself a favor and read it.  A true intellectual, Austin is clearly leaps and bounds above the other players, and it’s no wonder that he’s playing a vastly superior game.  No, that’s not true at all.  Austin sucks.  He spent his week as HOH making deals with both sides of the house, and burying himself in deals and promises that he refused to even think about breaking.  But he’s absolutely untouchable right now: he’s got Liz and Julia behind him, and usually Vanessa.  I think it’s incredibly likely that he and/or Liz will win another HOH this season, and at this point, if someone from their alliance doesn’t go home during the double eviction, then they won’t be going home at all.  Austin, Liz, and Julia are in total control of the votes now, and for everyone’s eagerness to join up with them, no one realizes that they have no chance of beating them.  Once we get down to five or six people, there is absolutely no way to evict one of Austwins, unless the HOH isn’t one of them and puts up two of them against each other.  The worst thing about Austin, really, is how obvious his power in the house is, and how everybody refuses to act on it.  Austin’s continued presence is making me hate everyone else and hate this season.  Please do better, houseguests.

GARRETT: I want the professor that accepted Austin’s graduate thesis fired. The HOH blog and that absurd nominations speech only further show just how far Austin’s head is up his own ass. He’s a petulant child who whines when he doesn’t get his way - but he gets his way a lot more than not. I’ll give him credit for his only good game move (and maybe this season’s best, which is so unbelievably sad) in avoiding the block all the way back in week 4. And as I said above, I still love to hate Austin, just because he’s so cartoonishly ridiculous. But that will change when it really becomes apparent that he’s in no danger of going home.



1.Vanessa

JAIME: It’s been ten weeks, and I am officially annoyed by absolutely everything about Vanessa’s gameplay.  She lies to everyone but cries and gets personally offended when anyone lies to her; she controls everything but then can’t understand why anyone might ever potentially consider the possibility of evicting her.  She thinks she’s the only person who understands how to play this game, and yet she jumps down everyone’s throats the second they do anything even remotely connected to playing out a strategy.  So no, I’m not a Vanessa fan.  But unfortunately, she’s playing the best game in the house.  How sad is that?  With Austwins by her side, right now, she’s pretty much untouchable.  They’re going to continue to dominate and picking everyone else off, and there’s nothing we can do about it.  Joy.  I’m sure she’s going to cry a lot more, too, so everyone get pumped.

GARRETT: They had her chance to get rid of her and blew it. You don’t get many chances to take out a player like Vanessa - who, as insane as she can be, is incredibly intimidating and smart with her words. I don’t think there’s a player in history quite like Vanessa, who acts so volatile and won’t admit to her own lies in the diary room. I just don’t get how she doesn’t see how off her rocker she is. I just want one quote from her admitting to it. Just one. And all will be forgiven. But she’ll get no respect from me until she does that, even if she does walk away with the grand prize. She’s number one this week because of her HOH and puppeteering of the people she intimidates, but in a season filled with so many bad players, it’s really not that much of an accomplishment.

Friday, August 21, 2015

But First Fridays: Your Weekly Big Brother Power Rankings - Week 9

SPOILER ALERT: Last night’s live HOH competition again carried on after the close of the episode, and the conclusion will be shown on Sunday’s episode. But, as with the past few weeks, we know who won, so we’ll be factoring in the results of the competition into the rankings this week.

Last Week’s HOH: Liz

Last Week’s Original Nominees: Becky and Johnny Mac

Last Week’s Veto Winner: Liz

Did she use the Veto?: No, though CBS’s editing made it seem like she was going to backdoor Vanessa

Votes for Eviction: 6-0 to evict Becky

New Head of Household: Bring out the pitchforks, folks, because Austin won

Any New Twists?: After next week’s live eviction, the evicted houseguests and the three jury members (Shelli, Jackie, and Becky) will compete to see which of them will be returning to the game. But you already knew that.

OUR THOUGHTS:

GARRETT: I’ve been watching this show for a long time, and right about now is where I start getting frustrated. Usually it’s because a player I don’t like is dominating the game, or because the majority of houseguests aren’t acting logically and start making wrong decisions. Both of those situations have started happening this season.

It started last week, when Liz took Head of Household. At the beginning of the week, it looked like there was a split between sides of the house. Liz put up John and Becky, and with Vanessa in her ear, it looked like John would be the target for the week. After the nomination ceremony, however, John took the target off his own back with a brilliant display, finally opening up to the Austwins about how he’s wanted Vanessa out since the second week of the game. Believing John wouldn’t target them, Austwins shifted their target to Becky, and told John that even though he was on the block, he’d be safe for the week. Inexplicably, Johnny then decided that the best way to earn the trust of the Austwins was to throw the Veto competition.

The Veto competition was a rock music rendition of the fan-favorite OTEV competition, and Johnny threw the competition in the first round. Becky gave it her all and badly hurt her toe in the process, but Liz took the competition, and held all the power for the week. CBS’s edit made it seem like she would backdoor Vanessa, but, wanting to keep the big target in the game, Liz kept her nominations the same.

The rest of the week unfolded without much drama, and while Becky gave it her best shot to stay, she was evicted in a unanimous vote. The HOH competition was an interesting track meet kind of thing, where the houseguests needed to run to their button when prompted. As expected Meg was eliminated first before the episode ended, and then, an hour later, Austin managed to win the competition, keeping the power within his triad and enraging the internet community.

Now, the Austwins have power for the second week in a row, and they have an alliance with everybody. Nobody seems to realize that they are a three vote block, and the contentedness of the rest of the house of keeping them in the game is maddening. Now, we have to deal with a lot of Austin airtime this week, so we hope you understand our crankiness in this week’s rankings:



8. Meg

JAIME: In true Meg style, she was the first person eliminated from the HOH competition and then proceeded to laugh about it.  Listen, Meg.  I get it.  I’m not good at sports or doing things either.  But we’re up to the final eight and she hasn’t won a single competition.  She’s done absolutely nothing to justify her place in the final eight, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.  And the worst part is that I’m sure she’s going to make it much farther in the game.  No one would ever vote for her to win the game, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she makes it to the final three or even two.  But at least her continued presence in the game gives me a reason to drink.

GARRETT: Meg isn’t a mean person. She’s extremely nice, in fact. When there’s no gameplay going on, I really enjoy her presence. But week after week, one of her allies goes. And week after week, she keeps telling James that they need to keep working with the Austwins. She’s definitely getting dragged to the final four by somebody. I just hope James is right there with her in the end.

Great faceplant highlight in the OTEV competition, though. Glad she’s not concussed.

7. Vanessa

JAIME: Thanks to Becky and John, by now, everyone in the house is onto Vanessa and her hyper-aggressive style of gameplay.  Liz was in the perfect spot to get her out, but didn’t want to get blood on her hands (which, can someone please explain to Liz what it means to get blood on your hands?  If you set up the eviction of someone literally everyone in the house wants evicted, there is zero blood on your hands).  Now with Austin, it’s hard to predict what he might do - I think he’d be more willing than Liz, but it wouldn’t be hard for Vanessa to convince him how vital she is to his game.  She’s good at playing people, and if she can adapt to being uncovered and find a way to turn that and use it to her advantage, she’ll be golden.  There’s a chance she might get put up this week, but I don’t know, I have a feeling she’ll skate by yet again.

GARRETT: Vanessa’s been pretty off kilter emotionally for a couple weeks now. She seems to know she’s being ostracized in the house. And I don’t blame her for getting upset when people are calling her the second Audrey. The Big Brother house is really brutal sometimes, and I’ll give her credit for sticking through it. But I just can’t bring myself to be a fan of her when she keeps steadfastly believing her own lies. It’s those lies that have gotten her in trouble. But, as Jaime said, there seems to be a reluctance from Liz and Austin to get her out of the game. So we’ll see what happens with her this week.



6. John

GARRETT: I think it’s important to keep our opinions of the houseguests’ personalities and their gameplay separate, because oftentimes, the most likable person in the game can be one of the worst players. Donny wasn’t a great strategist last season, but he lit up the house with his charm and was a really enjoyable player to watch. It’s starting to appear that our dear John is in that category, because he’s made some of the most abysmal decisions I’ve seen in the game so far. Deciding to throw a competition when you’re on the block is a cardinal sin, no matter who you are. It’s inexcusable with $500,000 on the line. And deciding to join an alliance with the Austwins is an absurd notion when they’re a three vote block in an eight person household. John is still a delight in the diary room and is one of the best Big Brother personalities in a long, long time. But he lost all game sense when Clay got evicted, and if he stays any longer, it’ll be through no effort of his own.

JAIME: I’m in a pickle here.  I love Johnny Mac.  I have waited the entire game for Johnny Mac to start stepping up, so I could finally say that my love for him as a player was justified.  But what is he doing?  Sure, okay, he was on the block this week, so he needed to work with Austwins since they controlled a third of the vote.  So I can understand his decision to work with them, and I think in his unedited conversation with Steve about choosing an alliance to work with, he was pretty unwilling.  To be charitable, and because I’m not yet willing to give up on my dream of my hilarious children with beautiful teeth and a house bought by a reality show, I’m going to hope for the best and say that Johnny is doing whatever he needs to survive right now.  But he needs to figure out a better plan, one that doesn’t see him struggling for survival every single week.  Hopefully if he survives this week and someone on the other side of the house wins HOH (and by that I mean James, since we all know Meg can’t), John can finally team up with them and start bringing down Austwins.  

5. Steve

JAIME: I’m starting to think that Steve may have us all fooled.  His archnemesis Becky named him one of the best players in the house, and I think there’s something to be said for his lowkey approach.  His brief reign as HOH proved that he doesn’t necessarily make the best decisions under fire, but then again, he knows that people think he’s weak and not really doing too great when it comes to handling himself in the game.  I think he still trusts Austwins a lot more than he should, but if he stays good with them, I think he’ll skate through this week.  I’m still waiting for a clear, unmistakable sign that he’s got some larger plan going on, but I don’t know.  Either everyone’s giving him way too much credit or Steve might turn out to be some kind of criminal mastermind.

GARRETT: I think he definitely happened to fall into his current situation. Vanessa has guided him along in this game, and set him up in a good position when it was her controlling things in those early weeks. But I’ll give him credit for playing both sides in the double eviction and shifting the blame completely off of him. That Meg doesn’t blame him for Jackie’s eviction may turn out to be a major blessing and keep him in the house, because the Austwins don’t seem to want him out either. He wins competitions when he has to and has become more and more well liked as the game is progressing. He’s no Ian Terry, but this season, it seems like he might not need to be.

4. James

GARRETT: James is making a run at America’s Favorite Player, and has gotten a perfect edit on CBS. He’s lively, fun, and refuses to let the house get boring, which is good for the houseguests’ morale and keeps things interesting on the feeds. He’s on a clear side, but because of his personality, he doesn’t seem to be a target at the moment. He has a chance to sneak by until a late stage and can get on a competition winning streak if he has to. Hopefully, after a jury member comes back, James can grab power again and break up the triad, but I wouldn’t quite count on it with Meg in his ear.

JAIME: The only thing working against James right now is that he doesn’t have a stronger partner.  He’s only going to be able to do so much when the person supporting his every move is Meg, and I don’t think it’s really occurred to him how much he needs John and Steve to eventually break up the Austwins block.  Based on numbers alone, James isn’t exactly in a great spot, but if he’s smart enough to realize that he’s in the minority of the house and can do something to turn things in his favor, then he’ll be around for a while.



3. Julia

JAIME: Once again, Julia and Liz are going to be totally safe for another week.  There are so many reasons why I want Liz and/or Austin evicted, but one of them is because I feel like Julia would absolutely work with the other side of the house.  It would force her to actually play the game, which isn’t something her alliance has really had to do so far.  She also might be in the best position out of the three of them, because I think breaking up Austin/Liz might be the bigger priority than breaking up the twins.  She’s going to be here for a while, and I’m just waiting for her to do something soon to justify her safety in the game.

GARRETT: Julia has still never played in a Veto competition. That has to be some kind of record. I think our only hope for her this week is her getting mad at Austin for giving Liz a hickey, and making the move to the other side of the house next week.

But that won’t happen. (Sigh)

2. Liz

GARRETT: She got through a week in power without pissing anyone off, and now that Austin’s in control, she won’t be blamed when the next houseguest gets evicted. She might be in the best position in the house, because she’s got two votes to keep her no matter what. But I don’t like her one bit, and her cattiness is beyond on my nerves. She’s never been in a position of danger yet, and I hope somebody wakes up and puts her there at some point. But it won’t happen this week.

JAIME: I still don’t understand how Austwins aren’t the biggest targets to everyone in the house.  When you look at it logically, Liz is the center.  She needs to be the second target on everyone’s list, behind Vanessa.  And yet for some reason, she’s totally escaped notice.  If the other houseguests don’t wake up, she, her sister, and Austin are going to make it to the final four, if not the final three, and they haven’t even really done anything to justify their place there.  It’ll entirely be the other houseguests’ fault for not breaking up the most solid block in the house.

1. Austin

JAIME: Throughout the week, I’m sure many of you often heard a strange noise, something like a cat dying or dishes being thrown against walls.  Those noises were me crying out for help every time they showed Austin kissing Liz.  His winning HOH means it’s going to continue to happen, and there’s nothing I can do about it.  Unfortunately, he’s solid in the game right now: with Becky gone and Steve and John still more or less working with both sides, Austin’s got the most powerful alliance in the house.  He, Julia, and Liz are going to continue to work as one unit until someone finally has the sense to break them up, but the other houseguests are running out of time.  I don’t think Austin’s going anywhere for a while, which means we’re going to see more of what he and Liz get up to in the HOH bed, which means I’ll probably be drinking a lot this week to forget.

GARRETT: It’s absolutely crazy that Austin has still never been nominated for eviction. Not one time. He’s actually well liked by a lot of them in there, even though he’s a cocky asshole. Another week of him in the HOH room calling the shots is going to be unbearable, so my feeds watching this week will be minimal. I want him gone, but I have to give the guy credit for his gameplay. He really just might win the whole thing, and if he does, he’ll be one of the least liked winners in the history of the show. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that and the rest of the houseguests come to their senses. You never know. Maybe someone will finally see that he doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom.


Friday, August 14, 2015

But First Fridays: Your Weekly Big Brother Power Rankings - Week 8

SPOILER ALERT: Once again, the results of the HOH competition weren’t on the show, but thanks to the feeds, we know who won the second HOH of the night.  So if you’d rather wait until Sunday’s episode to find out, then this post might not be for you.

Last Week’s HOH: Becky, Trecky, Trainwrecky, whatever you want to call her

Last Week’s Nominees: Steve and Shelli

Last Week’s Veto Winner: Steve

Did he use the veto?: Of course he did, and Vanessa was put up in his place

Votes for Eviction: 8-0 to evict Shelli; in the second eviction of the night, it was 6-1 to evict Jackie

New Head of Household: It was double eviction night, so Steve won HOH for a few hours.  But later in the evening they had their second HOH competition, and Liz won

Any new twists?: It was finally double eviction night, so it was a big episode.  The jury also officially began last night, with Shelli and Jackie as the first two members.

OUR THOUGHTS:

JAIME: It was another huge week in the Big Brother house.  Last week’s HOH competition once again outran Thursday’s live show, so it took until Sunday’s episode to find out that Becky had won, also earning herself a pass that prevents her from ever being a have-not again.  And she took advantage of her new power almost immediately: she grabbed James, Meg, and Jackie and outlined a plan right away.  That plan?  Nominate Shelli and Steve, then backdoor Vanessa.

And unlike the big plans we’ve seen laid out in the past couple weeks, Becky was smart.  She told everyone to keep it quiet, and kept most of the details to herself.  Anyone outside her alliance (AKA Vanessa) was told that Johnny Mac was the backdoor target.

Everything was working in her favor.  Steve won the veto, in a competition recycled from last season where each player would have to zipline past a window that showed each houseguest on the cover of a comic book.  They then had to put the covers in the correct order, a task complicated by the fact that there were two versions of each cover and they had to spot the subtle differences to find the correct one.  Whoever got the covers in the correct order in the fastest time won veto.  Steve ultimately won and took himself off the block, but Meg came in second, to everyone’s surprise (and when I say everyone’s surprise, I mostly mean my own).  She still hasn’t won anything, but she’s trying.  Kind of.  At least a little bit.

As planned, Becky named Vanessa as a replacement nominee, and for a while, everything seemed perfect.  Johnny and Becky had caught onto Vanessa’s manipulation of everything in the house, and for a few days, everyone was united in the plan to evict her.  Aaaaand then, because this is Big Brother and the houseguests live to piss me off, they all flipped.  Even though Vanessa spent like two full days crying about how she can’t trust anyone and how she’s the only logical person in the house and everyone else is just manipulative and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings (yeah, okay), Shelli ultimately became the bigger target.  All because she thought James had one of Clay’s shirts.  Seriously, that’s the conflict that started turning everyone off the plan to evict Vanessa.  Once again, Clelli is ruining everything.

In what might be the most beautifully poetic moment of the season, Shelli was evicted by a unanimous vote - just like Clay was last week.  It must be fate.  But don’t forget, this week was double eviction, so as soon as Shelli left (off to become the first member of the jury), the remaining houseguests were shuttled outside for the first HOH competition of the night.

Earlier that day, the houseguests were shown different short videos from throughout the season.  The competition was a true/false challenge, based on those videos.  It only took a few minutes to get down to Austin, Steve, and John, with Steve ultimately triumphing.  He only had a few minutes to think about his nominations, and in what...probably wasn’t the best decision, to put it charitably, he nominated Meg and Jackie...Yeah, no one in the house understood why, either.

Then almost immediately, it was time for the veto.  Steve, Meg, and Jackie were joined by John, James, and Vanessa.  They had to tilt a platform and get three balls into three holes, and whoever did it first won.  Our boy Johnny Mac won, and after a quick conversation with Steve, he decided not to use the veto.  After a 6-1 vote, Jackie was evicted, joining Shelli on the jury.  Also, while we’re at it, can someone get me a phone call or something with James so I can ask him why he thought voting to keep Meg would be better for his game?  Really?  Meg?

Anyway, my issues with Meg aside, a second HOH competition was held later, after the live show had ended, and while we don’t know the details of the competition, we know that - SPOILER ALERT - Liz won.  Which means we’re probably going to see a lot of Austin on the show next week.  Joy.

It was an incredibly exciting week in the house, made more exciting by the fact that the house more or less split into three factions: you have Vanessa/Austin/Liz/Julia, as always, and Jackie/James/Meg.  But throughout the course of the week, and especially once the decision was made to flip on Becky’s plan, Becky/Steve/John were forced to band together.  And, thanks in part to the other houseguests noticing how often John gets called to the DR and deciding he must be part of another twist, Becky/Steve/John became huge targets for the other two sides of the house.  So things are a little delicate right now, especially for our favorite rock star dentist.
But with all that out of the way, let’s get to this week’s power rankings:

9. Meg

GARRETT: Meg is a special kind of awful Big Brother player. She doesn’t self destruct like a Willie Hantz or Chima, she doesn’t unnecessarily lie like an Audrey, and she isn’t quite being dragged to the end like a Victoria purely because she can’t win. But when you’re crying your eyes out at the end of every single week, with another of your “peeps” evicted “out of nowhere”, it might be time to do some re-evaluation. Meg has single-handedly imploded her alliance. She didn’t believe Audrey when she revealed the Sixth Sense in the FOURTH week. She sat around idly while Jason’s backdoor was being constructed. The girl makes bad decision after bad decision and just doesn’t see how she’s doing anything wrong. It’s honestly impressive at this point. But it’s unfortunate because I happen to like everybody tied to her that keeps getting picked off one by one.

JAIME: Meg does this thing now where she makes jokes about how bad she is at competitions.  And how she hasn’t won anything.  But she doesn’t seem to realize that there’s nothing funny about it?  This is week eight of the game and she has done absolutely nothing.  Sure, she came close to winning veto this week, but the thing is, she didn’t win.  For a while I at least understood that her side of the house needed her as a number, but now with Jackie gone, the Jackie/James/Meg group is done.  They just don’t have the numbers in the same way, especially if John and Becky remain targets.  So literally Meg, we don’t need you, you’re free to go at any time.  Unless you decide to start winning comps.



8. John

JAIME: Without question, Johnny Mac is still our favorite.  And after lying low for most of the game, he finally stepped up this week.  He figured out that Vanessa’s had a hand in every big decision the house has made, and he was part of the plan to backdoor her this week.  He’s done trusting her, which gives him a leg up over the rest of the house, who either don’t believe that she’s been quite as manipulative as John insists she is, or just flat out doesn’t think Vanessa has any control over the game (Meg.  It’s Meg who doesn’t think that.  It’s always Meg).  But unfortunately, he became a huge target this week, and absolutely would have been evicted if his partner Steve hadn’t won HOH.  That target on his back definitely isn’t going anywhere any time soon, which sucks for everyone because if he goes home, I’m just going to complain about it for the rest of the season.

GARRETT: Johnny’s biggest hinderance was Meg and James’s inability to see that Vanessa was the head of the snake in need of eviction this week. Granted, I fault Shelli for getting too comfortable on the block and allowing Vanessa to slither her way out of the situation, but had Vanessa been evicted, John would have had a strong foursome of Steve, Becky, Shelli and himself. He just wasn’t counting on an illogical flip - one that’s happened time and time again this season - to change his standing. And yet, after the double eviction, John was in a decent spot, ready to simply take Jackie’s spot in the Goblins alliance. But with Liz winning HOH, his days look numbered, as she wants to take him out because of his status as a “wildcard”. Hopefully, Captain Veto has one more piece of magic to pull out of his bag of tricks. Otherwise, it’s likely sayonara for someone who has been one of the most genuinely likable, funny houseguests to play the game in years.

7. James

JAIME: After a killer run as HOH, James was in a great spot this week.  Becky was eager to carry through on his plan, and was even able to build on it to justify putting up Shelli, and keep the whole thing a secret from Vanessa.  But he was one of the first people to flip on the plan to evict Vanessa, and that could be his downfall.  If they wanted to bring down that alliance, Vanessa absolutely should have gone home over Shelli.  The longer Vanessa stays in the house, the more opportunities she has to confuse people, and the way things have gone, when people get confused, they vote out people on James’ side of the house.  I think John is a bigger target this week, but James might be right behind him, and it’s really no one’s fault but his own.

GARRETT: James’s biggest issue is his short-sightedness. Shelli was going to come after him for sending home Clay, that much is true. But nobody else would have. The Austwins would have gunned for Johnny Mac. Keeping Vanessa in the game to get out the one person coming for James, even when that one person’s closest ally was just sent out the door, was a really, really poor decision on his part that ended with another one of his allies gone an hour later. I like James a lot and I think he brings a lot of character to the house, but he and Meg just can’t make any good decisions. It’s a miracle he’s made it this far, and if he lasts any longer, I’m no longer counting on him to make the right call.



6. Becky

GARRETT: Becky tried her damndest to get Meg and James to see the light and evict Vanessa. She did everything she could, and it looked like she had it in the bag. Unfortunately, her plan fell through and she remains in the minority group. She’s Vanessa’s target for sure, but if Johnny doesn’t win the Veto, she should be alright for another week, and that week may be enough to shake up the house once more. She’s basic and talks in circles a bit, but she sees the balance of power more than any other player in there. If Johnny goes, I’m all aboard the Becky train, pun fully intended.

JAIME: Okay it’s probably time for me to state for the record that I fully enjoy any reference of any kind to the fact that Becky got hit by a train.  Does that make me a bad person?  Maybe.  But at least I didn’t create a comic book cover where she’s a superhero who can hit harder than a train.  

GARRETT: My pun was funny though.

JAIME: The Big Brother producers will always be worse than me, and I take comfort in that.  Anyway.  Becky is basic, but she was one of the smartest players this week.  She knew exactly what she wanted to do as HOH, and moreover, she knew exactly how to play Vanessa.  Her insistence that she could handle Vanessa because she has experience dealing with customers on Black Friday might be one of the most iconic lines ever on this show.  She has Vanessa completely figured out, and considering that she’s one of two people in the house who’s onto Vanessa’s game, that’s huge.  With Shelli gone, I think Becky’s ties to that side of the house are officially cut, so there’s nothing holding her back from joining up with James, Meg, and John and charging full steam ahead (pun fully intended).  

5. Steve

JAIME: Steve...didn’t exactly handle his short reign as HOH well.  No one understood why he nominated Meg and Jackie - it turns out that Vanessa had planted the idea with him that Jackie had said Steve was her biggest target, so thanks to that misinformation, Steve blew up the alliance that probably would have been his best chance in the game.  But after the eviction, James, Meg, and Becky talked it out with him, and they understand why he made the choices he did.  Plus he got in with Austin and the twins, so while I don’t think he’s totally safe for now, he’s at least in a good enough spot to not have to worry about the next week or two.

GARRETT: Steve is just an easily manipulatable person. He doesn’t have any social game, so he relies on other people to put things together for him. He and Johnny had a conversation in the bathroom where John convinced him that Vanessa needed to be taken out, and Steve needed John to repeat things three and four times in order to understand the point. And while Steve finally got the point at the end of the conversation, he still doesn’t understand that sometimes, the people piecing things together for him are really just playing him like a fiddle. For someone with so much Big Brother knowledge, the guy just can’t get off the ground and play the game. Vanessa jumped all over that opportunity with him early on. I give her credit for doing so, but I shake my head at Steve more often than I thought I would when the game started.

4. Vanessa

JAIME: I am so, so tired of Vanessa’s gameplay.  She strikes up deals with anyone she can get in a room long enough to get the question out, then when someone turns on her (which happens a lot, given that by now most people are just accepting deals to shut her up, not out of actual loyalty), she cries and cries about how she’s so alone in this game, and then criticizes everyone else’s gameplay.  Still, I have to credit her with how much control she’s had throughout this entire game, and with a member of her alliance as HOH this week, she doesn’t have anything to worry about.  She’ll be up in the HOH room all week long, pulling everyone’s strings and probably striking up a few more deals.

GARRETT: Vanessa is a manipulator. That’s what she does, and she’s very good at it. All the talk about how she hates liars and demands integrity only feeds into that reputation that she’s created for herself. My problem with her is that she goes into the diary room and convinces herself that she really is a straight shooter playing without an alliance, which she isn’t. I’ll give her credit for getting out of a major jam, but I wonder just how much the Big Brother house has gotten to her when she’s pulling a George Costanza and believing her own lies.

3. Julia

JAIME: Julia literally has nothing to worry about this week with her twin sister as HOH - if anything, she might be in a slightly better position after the week is over, because while Liz has to deal with any potential consequences of her decisions as HOH, Julia won’t be held accountable for anything.  She’s still a target, of course, given that she’s part of the strongest partnership in the house, but for some reason, no one seems to be thinking of the twins as a major threat to get out (yes, Steve, I’m talking to you).  Maybe things will be different next week, but right now, she’s in a great spot.

GARRETT: Julia has been such a disappointment for me entertainment wise. It was fun to see her kindle relationships with people while playing half of Liz’s game, but now, she just talks a lot of crap and hangs out with Vanessa. She bores me and I want her to lose. But that would be something that would make me happy, and that never happens in Big Brother.



2. Liz

JAIME: Okay, admittedly, I’m not thinking too highly of Liz right now since apparently she does actually like Austin.  I have a lot I could say about that, but I’ll keep it to myself.  If there was a perfect time to win an HOH, then this was the perfect time for Liz.  Especially now that the house is moving toward three different factions, it was only a matter of time before people turned on Liz: after all, she’s part of two major partnerships in the house.  Whatever decisions she makes, whoever she puts up, whoever she votes to evict, she’s got two people behind her who are going to make the exact same calls.  But no one in the house seems to realize that, so I guess for a while I’ll just be yelling at the other houseguests while I watch at home.  But right now, with Jackie’s eviction, that side of the house is weakened, and Liz is perfectly poised to strike.  If she plays it right, she could resolidify her alliance and help them gain back control for more than a week at a time.

GARRETT: Liz should be the biggest target in the house because she’s the glue holding a three person alliance together. Nobody has come to the realization that Julia is a free agent if Liz is gone because of her disdain for Austin. Right now, that secret is Liz’s key to the half million dollars. Even with this HOH, she hasn’t angered anybody and likely won’t if she gets John out. Seeing her win was the last thing I wanted, but it is what it is. I hope her and Austin have a solid two week relationship once they get out of the house.

1.Austin

JAIME: Believe me, I couldn’t be more unhappy about this.  But unfortunately, with the drama surrounding Vanessa this week and any potential lingering anger about Steve’s reign as HOH, Austin’s not on anyone’s radar this week.  And with Liz as HOH?  He’s definitely safe for another week, at the very least.  Plus if anyone’s going to go after their side of the house, the twins are going to be a bigger target.  Oh, and apparently Liz has started to have actual feelings for him, so that’s apparently a thing that’s going to continue, and I’ll just be watching along at home, trying not to vomit everywhere.  

GARRETT: Austin also remains the only player left in the game to have not been nominated a single time. That’s not a small feat, especially because he looked like a dead man walking in week four. But the Dr. Will Veto Speech tactic, in which Austin pleaded for safety for two weeks so that he could simply make it to jury, may have been his finest hour. Since that 24 hour period, Austin has not been anybody’s target and is protected within a monster of a three person alliance that holds power this week. With only eight people in the house after this week, his alliance’s three votes become the majority in the house. That is huge, and I can’t believe he and the twins aren’t the target when they’re such an obvious majority.